Does my poem flow well? help.?

Daisy, across the Broadway path


The girl with fame


In place of a heart





Singing out those small-town blues


Tied down to the past,


By buckle-up shoes





She would watch her stars


Each day and night


The walk of fame, her paradise





As the sun went down,


She lost disguise, un-zipped her top


Spread out her thighs





A snort of crack, a quick shoot up


Bubbles gone, she’s back on top


Time to grace her stage again





Oh, such glamorous way


To pay the bills, greasy poles


And one night thrills





THEN I WILL ADD IN A COUPLE MORE VERSES


AND END WITH THIS





You always wanted to be a star,


You were my star


You’re fallen now.














please tell me your opinions


what do i change to improve it


how do i make it better.


please bear in mind i am only 13, and have missed about a year of my schooling


so i apologise if my grammar or rhyming patterns are incorrect.


thank you in advance.

Does my poem flow well? help.?
its really good! but is crack snorted? I think it is smoked and coke is snorted, just a hint haha
Reply:its great for ur age keep dreamin keep writing
Reply:You have a natural gift of prose. I,m very impressed and at your age your only going to get better. Very well done. keep it up



viruses